Lately I have been receiving messages from all kind of sources. This sounds somewhat strange, but I am living through a strange phase of my life with one foot in my present worldly existence, in which I'm losing more and more interest, and the other in a not very well-defined afterlife.
According to my youthful religious education this meant two choices; entering hell or heaven, after my present earthly life expires. My choice was obvious and I started to look for ways to find it to the Pearly Gates. With a lot of time to think things over I was wondering why do I have to suffer these excruciating pains, what is God's purpose with it? Then I remembered purgatory. It is supposed to be for souls who's sins are not as serious to condemn them to eternal hell but where they can go through a purgatory phase to prepare them for redemption.
This is when the messages started to arrive. The first one came when I started to attack again a rather vulnerable member of one of our internet discussion groups who is well known to have offended a lot of people by sending away his blistering criticisms before checking or even reading what he wrote. He has a high opinion of me, so when the message came that it would be a nice, Christian deed to apologize to him and offer friendship, instead of belligerence, his reaction was overwhelming. One Brownie Point gained.
The next message was; Who are the people you hurt, offended and caused bitterness with your actions? The answer was that most of the people I hurt never hurt me, and this made my actions even more despicable. The trouble was, that at this stage there was little or nothing I could do to get them to forgive me except pray.
The latest message was: What did you do to in your family and your community to spread God's message and to help others to achieve what I am trying to do.
Unfortunately I did not insist on religious education for my daughters. So this blog is an attempt to fill this gap. Your comments, or at least some of them could be messages, which up to now have guided my actions.
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1 comment:
Your immediate acceptance into God's Heaven is guaranteed. The amount of sufering alone would make it possible, but I think He knows, that in your soul you have been faithful to Him all throughout your life, wether you practiced religion or not, and most likely Lisa and Marty feel close to Him also, church or no church. Those of us, who know you well, are aware of the values of your heart, no matter how brisk you could be sometimes, and I am sure, you have no enemies! As for myself, I never felt hurt by you, you are a wonderful friend, and I love you dearly!! Judit
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